A Mutual Safe Space


I was an only child growing up in Huntington Beach, California. My parents had stayed married, and I was attending private school, but in the 6th grade, I was put in public school. What a culture shock that was for me! I was picked on a lot, and in high school, dated only a couple of times. I was an atheist at the time but decided to look into Christianity because many of my friends were Christian. I would get into it, and it would last maybe a few months, but it would never stick. It just wasn’t for me. I was not feeling it.

I attended nursing school and graduated in 2015. I met and married a woman in college, but we divorced later. I was living in Orange County when a female friend of mine told me about Orgasmic Meditation, which she practiced. Because the nursing program had been so intense and had required so much of my time and focus, I hadn’t dated much after my divorce. I wasn’t feeling very confident with women, so she thought OM would be something I might be interested in. I signed up for the introductory class. As a nursing student, I felt I was comfortable touching the female body, so I went alone.

The class was in downtown Los Angeles and consisted of a group of men and women who were all interested in learning about OM. The people and the instructors were all positive and friendly. We did a lot of exercises, talking to new people and communicating. I felt like we were all on the same level. We did this one exercise where we had to tell the person next to us a stream of consciousness story we made up on the spot. That was interesting.

I saw a demonstration of OM while I was there. We got into a semi-circle to see how the nest was built and how the woman was positioned. I felt hopeful about being able to actually do it myself. I thought it was a good idea how they keep the practice in a container, with the gloves and keeping that all the same way every time so it has a solid foundation. There is no mistaking the preparation for foreplay. 

At first, I did have some difficulty finding someone to OM with, but it all worked out. It was a bit nerve-wracking asking people, and they would say no because I had never done it before. I did understand it, though. People preferred an experienced partner. Eventually, someone asked me to OM.

I felt so nervous. I got into the foundation of setting up the container, which made it feel like a safer place for women who might be concerned that men will try to take advantage of them. Women have to worry about that, so this creates a mutual safe space to OM in. I saw it as a physical act, a demonstration or performance between two people. I love helping people, and that is why I love nursing. I can now use my knowledge and skills from OM to figure out what they want or need and to help them.