All About Love


I heard about Orgasmic Meditation through one of the Tony Robbins programs. Personality-wise, I’m interested in connecting with new people and understanding how that process works. I’m also interested in understanding the opposite sex. But I’m a perfectionist, medical-minded person too, so I was very nervous on my first OM. Am I putting my feet in the right place? Am I following the right procedures? The strokee was understanding and helped me do it. In subsequent Oms, I was aware of this serenity that takes me over during the 15-minute practice, where I’m feeling the energy that’s being released. I like to think I’m connected to my body, connected to this energy field we’re all inside of, and I felt this surge of energy during the process. Now, I’ll sometimes feel this energy releasing in my ears. I’ll feel a warm sensation, my heart pounding.  I feel alive. I think that’s the simplest way to put it. I feel myself going into a primal physical state.

As men, oftentimes we have forgotten about our feminine side. Society pushes us to be in the masculine and suppress the feminine. All my life I’ve been taught to be tough and strong, to be a high-level achiever, a medical professional. You’re not supposed to show your sadness, you’re supposed to be tough. But when you’re dealing with life, I’ve learned that’s not the best place to be.

One of the things that has helped me in OM is that I have to surrender, to allow myself to be more vulnerable, in order to stroke.  I’ve been going through a divorce, and it’s difficult. Sometimes I feel like I’m fighting the situation and resisting. I’ve learned, in my relationship with my ex, to let things go and forgive. Despite the fact that stuff might happen I’m not happy about, I try to be more loving towards her.

Just saying “I’m sorry” or “I love you,” these are all states that make us vulnerable. Forgiveness is a big part of it. Sometimes I don’t want to forgive. I have told people that I’m working on surrender, and it’s amazing how people are proud of me.  Letting go of pride and ego and allowing myself to be in this beautiful state, I feel like I am living from my heart. When I do that, all my interactions from patients, colleagues, family and friends are better.

I used to have a hard time accepting the uncertainty of life.  Not letting go made me stressed and angry, and I blamed other people. But I’ve learned through OM that not having everything structured is okay. Actually, the unknown is exciting. Every time you practice OM, either as a strokee or stroker, you’re in a vulnerable state. You never know how your partner is going to respond, how you’re going to respond.  Through practice, you learn to let go and be comfortable with that. You have the opportunity to express yourself within the controlled and safe environment of the container, which allows you to be vulnerable. I’ve gotten to the space where I love giving strokees attention and contact without the expectation of receiving anything in return. That, to me, is powerful. I feel nurtured by that relationship.

People have told me they think I just look happier. Recently, just before a meeting, I OMed. I was so present in that meeting. I then had an interaction with a female friend.  She felt like I was attentive to what she was talking about. Possibly, I was more in that feminine space. I was receiving and listening. I actually had an amazing day. Possibly, it could be because of that OM.

I’m a Christian Catholic. I still go to church. I’m spiritual, I sing, I connect with God, I pray, I love it. OMing has a spiritual component, if you can tap into that. In Christianity we preach a lot of love. OM is all about love.

What the practice teaches you is there’s not a perfect way of doing it, it’s just you, being in the perfect state when you’re doing it.  Take my kids, I can make a load of plans for their future, but ultimately, the future’s not in my control. The best I can do is be fully present when I’m with them and spend as much quality loving time as I can. I can create a container with them and get to talk to them, put attention on them, in a positive loving way. The container can be an analogy for life. In a world where everything is turned in to text messages and emails, connection is being lost.  I think OM has the potential to bridge that gap in our society.