The Intelligence Below

BY PAUL YARMEY

She was the most hot-headed, wild-child chestnut filly I ever worked with in my 50 years of horse training. She didn’t trust me, she didn’t trust other horses, she didn’t trust anyone. Her upbringing was pretty rough, and she was sent to me as a last resort. She was a very dangerous horse to be around.

About a year earlier, I was out on a date through Match.com. I had recently separated from someone I had been with for a decade. So, here I was, in my mid-60s, trying to figure out dating again. She seemed lovely, my date, but I couldn’t help falling into old patterns. 

I used to try and create a deep romantic mood on my dates, whether we knew each other well enough for that or not. In retrospect, it was very sophomoric. I would put myself into a romantic trance, just to feel interested enough to become intimate with a woman. My conversations on these dates were mostly about matching wits, matching stories, matching knowledge. My date would tell an interesting travel story, so I would tell an interesting travel story. Then she’d tell me about one of her hobbies, so I would tell her about my love for astrocartography. It was like a tennis match, only no one really won.

I was revving up my engine to get all romantic and sappy with this woman when she began talking very enthusiastically about something called Orgasmic Meditation. She couldn’t stop talking about it, and she spoke with great joy and pride. Her enthusiasm was contagious. That night, I looked it up online. I must say, it was the answer to a prayer.

It’s quite shocking to have free reign, in broad daylight, with something we men normally have so little access to. I certainly had never had access to touch a woman intimately in the frank and simple way you have permission to in OM. After all the games I had played in my lifetime, it was the most liberating thing in the world.

I didn’t really know what I was doing at first. Quite frankly—and excuse my language—it felt like playing with mashed potatoes. But my OM partner was so kind with me. Slowly, she started guiding me to different areas. The soft tissue started to differentiate itself, and I started to understand the geography. Then the magic happened.

I began to see her pleasure, and it was all the reward I think you need in this life. I couldn’t believe I was doing it. I could hear it, I could see it. Her whole body became warmer, more electrified. 

Life before OM was quite different. It was much more centered around me. I always wanted to make my partner happy, but I was nowhere near educated enough around females to do so effectively. Everything happened in the dark back then, and I don’t just mean sexually. Looking back, it feels like nobody, neither I nor my partners, had the ability to be forthright about what we wanted.

It’s such an incredible shift to know that women, OM partners and otherwise, are enjoying me. To see it in the way their faces light up. I feel so much more sensitive to their desires, their subtleties and inner workings. This is true of my stroking, of course, but I see it everywhere. My conversations with women have transformed.

Whereas once upon a time I would try and bewitch myself and my partner with romance, I can speak frankly with women for the first time in 64 years. And I know how to stroke them, conversationally as well as in OM. It just comes down to paying attention. Instead of trying to think of what story I’m going to match up to the one I’m being told, I notice when a topic lights her up, and then I stoke those flames. It’s amazing how much more connection is right there, readily available, if you’re just willing to pay attention.

At 64 years old, I am flourishing as a connected human being. There’s an intelligence down there, in a woman’s genitals, that’s hardly ever talked about or thought of or given credit. But I feel it. And just as you might raise your IQ by hanging around smart people, I feel it has changed me. I’ve spent time with highly enervated sensual nerve centers, and I’ve begun to flourish with the flower.

I credit this newfound connectivity for helping me with that filly. I’m softer, more receptive, and she responded to it. She’s delightful now. I can even put beginning students on her. She takes care of them. She’s taken the energy I’ve found in OM, and now she spreads it to others. It has made a garden, a beautiful garden, of what was once a far more barren world.