Finding Enjoyment in the Moment

BY LEORE SCHWARTZ

When I found Orgasmic Meditation, I was in my late 30s and had had a series of relationships that hadn’t worked out. I’d known from the beginning that they weren’t a good fit, and yet each time I felt the need to jump in and effort through the relationship anyway. This usually lasted a year or two, until things would get so bad that I’d hit the eject button. I did this over and over again. Though I found it exhausting, I didn’t see any other way to be. 

Once I started OMing, I realized how much shame I was holding about my body. As the saying goes, identifying is the first step to healing, so I decided I wanted to let the shame go. 

Fortunately, the practice kept my attention focused on the process—not the destination—of exploration. I had enough power and strength to explore my body and my shame; all I needed was some people to show me the way and a method to practice all the new skills I was developing. OM gave me both.

My body started to feel more awake and alive. One of the things I had a hard time with was asking for what I want, whether it was in an intimate relationship or at work. Through the practice of OM, and by talking with other women who OMed, I learned that it was okay to ask for what I wanted. I set out to start asking for adjustments in my OMs. But when I got in the nest, I realized that I couldn’t even identify what I wanted. That step alone took weeks.

I’d have several OMs a day where I’d search for what I wanted to adjust, but I couldn’t decide. After weeks of this, I realized I just needed to say something and modify from there. I’d say something like, “I want you to move your finger a little to the right.” He’d make the change, and I’d pay close attention to what occurred for me in my body. Then I began offering adjustments just to see what they felt like, and I noticed what I liked in my body. 

It took another few weeks just to find the language to ask for those strokes in an OM. But once I had those two skills—identifying what I liked and having the courage to ask for it—it felt like the door was open in the rest of my life, too. I could say, “This is what I’d like to try,” and I had both the skill and the muscle memory to do it. 

The container of the practice lets me know exactly what I am getting into, and I’ve applied that as a template for other experiences, too. I can say with specificity: this is what we’re getting into. Then I can structure those experiences in the same measured way that an OM is structured—with clear communication and with nothing extra. 

I’ve been practicing Orgasmic Meditation for more than five years now. I try to OM often because of how much better it makes me feel. There are times when I OM several times a day, and there are times when I OM only five or six times each week. Either way, OM is a constant wellspring of wellbeing for me. It refreshes my body, replenishes my mental health, and is so well structured that it’s easy to say yes to.  

OM feeds a part of me that nothing else does, and I see it the same as I see a yoga class: regardless of what it takes to get me in the room, I always feel better after than I did before. When the OM is over, I am incontrovertibly different; I feel more alive and more open-hearted. I am more comfortable with my body now and have access to more language to describe what I’m experiencing.