Nice Guy to Confident and PowerfulBY ABE
My mother was a strong and independent woman. Very much so. She was very liberal, and growing up, my household followed that lead. I was raised on a set of heart-centered values, and honoring women was a central tenet.
This was all well and good. I love my mother deeply. But I naturally emerged from this environment as a ‘good guy.’ A people pleaser. ‘Nice’ was a word people used to describe me, and ‘nice’ is something you say about people when you don’t have anything more interesting to say.
When I was 19, I became involved in a yoga and meditation practice. In a sense, I went there to hide. My nice guy tactics had led to a lot of heartbreak in high school, a lot of time spent chilling in the friend zone. Maybe I’ll be a monk, I thought.
I spent a lot of time learning from yogic monks and nuns, and while it was great for developing the mind and spirit, some of the darker elements of life—money, sex, power—were swept neatly under the rug. I seriously considered taking that vow of celibacy for a few years before getting together with my now ex-wife.
She was the seemingly perfect partner. She practiced the same yoga and meditation I did. Our relationship was really good on paper, and almost completely passionless in real life. Except for one or two nights a year, I pretty much got that abstinence I’d been considering.
I was miserable. We were like brother and sister, and after 7 years we finally divorced. I had no idea what I wanted next, but I knew, felt somewhere deep in my gut, that it needed to be about passion.
I started looking, and soon found just what I was looking for: this beautiful, fiery, passionate woman. I wooed her with my usual nice guy act, the accommodating-doormat routine. A couple months into the relationship she left. My energy just didn’t hold her. I was depressed for about five months.
That’s when I found Orgasmic Meditation. Honestly, I just thought it was strange at first. But I was really keen to explore new things, and OM sounded like just what the doctor ordered. My first OM was with a really attractive woman who I had just met, and when I left, I was on top of the world. I could feel what people were talking about, how OM created a kind of energetic melody within my system. It felt very natural to me.
We got together the next day to practice, and on the second or third OM, I started feeling sick to my stomach, as though it was too much for my system. I was a little freaked out by it, and I wondered what it meant. I still hadn’t realized OM’s full impact, but I guess it had me thinking. My new OM partner and I made plans to practice regularly over the next few weeks.
I began developing more confidence in my interactions with women. I had so much more energy. I felt completely different, and when I took inventory, swiveled my head around to see what might have changed, the only thing was this practice, OM.
Someone early on in my practice asked about my power and inner wildness. If I had ever gotten in touch with it. I was totally taken aback. My power and wildness? What even is that? And why would I want to get in touch with it? I wasn’t attracted to anything wild. I thought I wanted things neatly fixed and controlled.
But that’s sort of what happened. I experienced so much freedom and power that my wildness started to come out. I found myself being more assertive in every aspect of life. I still remember the first time, after practicing asking women for OMs for several months, I had the courage to just walk up to an attractive woman and say, “Hey, I’m really attracted to you.”
I was by any definition a meditation expert, but all my meditation to this point had been directed inward. OM asked me to place my attention on someone else. I quickly became so proficient at being attentive to energies, both inside and outside OM, that I left my job to pursue using that skill professionally. I had taught filmmaking before, and while it’d been fun, I just wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I started coaching.
OM has helped me detect people’s energy and send them in the direction they need to open up. I ask questions of clients in a way that reminds me of OMing. Heavy to light, light to heavy pressure. And I show them how to work with money, sex and power in a holistic way.
I’m married again now, and she’s red-hot volcanic lava sort of intense. I don’t try to appease her or be nice to her. I meet her where she is. And it’s the most euphoric, amazing, electric experience for both of us. And at the end, there’s a deep sense of trust. We both feel held, deeply, in one another’s’ arms and energies. I cannot, cannot thank OM enough for unlocking this powerful part of me.