Spontaneity and Love Instead of a Predictable Life

BY ANDREAS

When I discovered OM, I was married for nearly 10 years, had a good position as a web developer, and—aside from some stress from my job—I was comfortable. In fact, I was too comfortable living this 9-to-5 life. OM opened my eyes, literally, to a new way of being in the world. 

Until then, I had lived a life of compliance. I grew up in a house with a very strict European mother and a very lenient south American father., so the boundaries were confusing. It wasn’t easy to know the right way to behave. To deal with this confusion, I chose to just be compliant about everything. 

When I graduated from high school, I already knew exactly how I had to do things and where I wanted to go—as if everything were prewritten for me. I missed a lot of opportunities for travel and adventure, because in my head I thought I knew what was going to happen. It wasn’t until later that I realized how much I was limiting myself.

An acquaintance told me about OM, explaining that it was a practice that helps you hone into what your body desires. 

I went into my first OM with trepidation. During the noticing step, it was scary to be descriptive about someone’s intimate parts that you normally don’t talk about. You have to describe this part of a woman’s body in a neutral way, which felt challenging at first. 

But I kept going with OM. Slowly, I started rediscovering the little details in life—like the taste of my morning coffee, the colors around me. Everything was more vivid. This came from the practice of noticing and being in the moment. 

I was also getting in touch with my feminine side. I’ve always been a very logical guy, and for me, getting in touch with my feminine side was about doing something not because of logic but because it felt good. It felt right. 

As I continued with OM, I realized that I had a lot of repressed anger towards myself for the compliant aspect of my life and the various opportunities that I had missed. But my feminine side said, “It’s okay. You’re an idiot, but it’s fine. Everything’s going to be okay.” I could forgive myself.

After that, everything changed. I had been practicing for about eight months—but I decided to redo my introduction to OM because I was in a different state of mind. I started from scratch, like a beginner. And I got much more information about not just the practice but how to squeeze more out of myself. That was on a Sunday. On Monday morning, I quit my job. 

I had a few different motivations for making this change. One, I wanted to make myself uncomfortable. I realized that the comfortable zone, the numbness, took me nowhere. And two, I was tired. I was tired of not being able to wake up and say, Yesterday was amazing.

My wife didn’t support me quitting my job—she wanted her old compliant partner back. She didn’t understand what I was going through. So eventually, we separated. Meanwhile, I met a woman through OM—who would later become my wife—and we decided to backpack through Europe together. 

During the trip, we both had this mentality of, whatever happens, happens. But we knew that we couldn’t live like this forever. In one conversation I said, “Maybe I want to be a YouTuber.” I was half serious. But she said, “Do it. You would write nice, funny stories and you’d be so good at it.” And I thought, Wow, that’s the kind of support I need.  

We came back to Canada and needed money, so I got a job as a web developer for a while. But I soon felt overworked and wanted something else. My wife encouraged me to try something that combined various interests of mine. 

I applied for a job related to my previous experience in the computer sciences field but I had zero specific experience and went to the first interview with the most amazing, fake-it-till-you-make-it energy. I relate that energy back to the stroking in OM. When you’re stroking, you receive immediate feedback. You learn how to read people, and you know what kind of energy you have in front of somebody. Your doubts go away. 

I was hired, nearly doubling my former salary. I started my YouTube channel with a friend, on the side, where I do these crazy things. I never thought I could do it--but I did.

It’s hard to think of how different my life would be without OM. I would be living in a dysfunctional house, unsatisfied. Just 9-to-5, beer after beer every night after work, watch TV, go to sleep, rinse and repeat. 

Now, it’s the opposite of that. I don’t know exactly what’s happening tomorrow. There is room for adventure and surprise. And I love that.