OM Transformed Me and Shifted My PerspectivesBY VICTOR
When I tell you OM can change your life, you should believe me. Why? Because I’m a workshop junkie, and if there’s a practice that claims to make your world better, I’ve tried it – and a lot of them don’t work. OM does.
For over a decade, I ran a big internet company. It was exhausting, heady work, and as lucrative and interesting as it was, I burned out. With a little money saved, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of being a writer – and to work on myself. I had spent years, going back to my teens, focusing on material and professional success. Now, I wanted to reinvent myself spiritually and emotionally. I spent years living out my own version of that “Eat, Pray, Love” book. I traveled the world, met all the gurus, climbed all the holy mountains, recited all the mantras, read all the books, and absolutely, definitely, signed up for all the classes. I was thirsty for wisdom, and I drank as much of it as I could find.
After a while, I started to notice the same problem. The experiences I had were almost always very intense. Over and over again, I’d meet people and bond with them through the workshops and practices we did together. We’d be so close I was sure we were going to be lifelong friends – but that never happened. No one ever kept in touch. I began to realize these were mostly like college dorm friendships, the kind you form the first weekend of your freshman year. They flame out almost instantly.
I came to OM through a friend of mine. She was an ex with whom I’d stayed close, and we had lunch every six months or so. One day, we met for sushi in Hollywood, and she was glowing. As soon as I saw her, I knew she had to be pregnant. She had that radiance that expecting women sometimes have, and it was such a joy just to see it. People smiled at her as they passed our table; they could see it too.
But my ex wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t even in a relationship. She told me she had been doing this thing called Orgasmic Meditation, and had just had an OM that morning, right before she came to see me. I’ve seen people glow from a few drinks, or from sexual excitement, but this was so much deeper than that. I knew my friend – she looked different, and she put out a different energy. And my workshop junkie self wanted what she had.
I had my first OM a week later. I expected it to be fumbling, awkward, or just plain weird, but it wasn’t any of those things. It felt very connected. I’ve had long-term relationships that never felt so close – and I’ve had one-night stands that were filled with a sense of deep emotion. What hit me was that this wasn’t sex, but it was an express train to intimacy. I’ve seen a lot of gimmicks, and this was no gimmick. It worked.
It still took me a while to grasp that this was something that transcended the sexual. What sealed it for me was listening to some of the women I met in OM describe some of their favorite strokers. They weren’t picking men based on their sex appeal, their looks, or their status. One of the men they all raved about was the sort of guy you’d figure would have a hard time with women; he was short, not in particularly good shape, and had a very unmemorable face. The women couldn’t stop talking about him. It wasn’t just that he had a good technique, it was that he was able to be present with these women in a way that was so liberating and powerful for them.
As happened with my ex on our lunch date, other people started noticing the changes in me before I saw them myself. People started smiling at me more, striking up conversations with me almost at random. I could feel I was more attractive to women, too – sometimes, I’d catch someone giving me a double-take. I hadn’t gotten fitter or changed my hairstyle; something that I was doing in OM was exuding from me, and people could see it and feel it. More than anything, that’s what showed me the difference between OM and a lot of other spiritual practices I’d tried in the past: other people could tell something had altered inside of me. It wasn’t just that I felt better, it was that I had begun to glow a little.
I went through a period of having doubts about OM, and I think it’s important to share that. I began to wonder if it was all some sort of a very sophisticated technique designed to give us a facsimile of intimacy. How was it really possible to connect deeply with someone you met five minutes earlier? That just didn’t seem right. I started looking for the catch, the gimmick, the twist – and honestly, I couldn’t find it. While I think you can do this work on a superficial level, if you take it seriously, it will change you. I’m glad those doubts were there, because they made me test this practice. I’m glad, too, that those doubts didn’t drive me away.
I’m still climbing other mountain tops, so to speak. I still check out other spiritual practices and paths; OM isn’t the only technique I use. Lately, I haven’t been able to OM very much at all, and I’ve realized how affirming and energizing it really is. I can’t wait to come back to L.A. and return to doing this joyous, playful, transforming work.