The Opportunity to Play Again


I was born in Berkeley, California in 1961, and I was raised with an older brother and a younger sister. My mother divorced and remarried several times. My father was an engineer living in Scotland, where I would visit him sometimes in the summer.

I was a very adventurous child, roaming the streets, playing in the parks and experiencing childhood, having a great time. As I matured, it was clear to me that I had a total fascination with the beauty of the female gender. Since childhood it's always been on the forefront of my thinking. 

I have an addictive nature and growing up my substance of choice was marijuana. I only used it in a very controlled way. But I felt I had to use it to help mitigate the fact that I was afraid of life. I was conscious that being an aware human being requires a lot of responsibility. The God that I believed in was looking at me saying, “Come on Brian, wake up and experience the art of this thing called being human.” 

I wanted to be the tool that God created me to be. Eventually I realized that if I kept altering my senses every other day, I couldn’t live up to His hopes for me.  So I put down all substances, even beer, for good. Then I picked up yoga instead! I developed a fabulous career as a carpenter in downtown San Francisco. And I worked on magnificent projects my entire career. 

But back to my fascination and appreciation of the feminine.

I've always been very passionate about whatever woman I'm focused on at whatever given time. I've been hurt several times. I've been married a couple times. I learned from my first wife that physical beauty and the corresponding pitter patter in my heart isn’t a recipe for a good marriage. I have four children that I love very much. I have a few close friends that are women. But a passionate love affair has been non-existent for some time now. 

I was introduced to Orgasmic Meditation by my brother. At the demonstration I attended, a woman got up onto a massage table and then her husband began stroking her. And her orgasm wasn’t fake. I could see that she was not lying. You can't lie about that kind of reaction, that kind of pleasure. She reached an orgasmic state and you just knew it was real because there was an aura of deliciousness just pouring off of her. And when I saw that I thought, “Wow, how can that happen? How can this happen in a roomful of people?” 

I didn't know. But I so got it. I got that women, just like men, want to experience that orgasmic state. And, by God, it doesn't have to be so complicated. When I went to the presentation and saw the demo, it made me so happy to see that these women had created a program where they could become orgasmic with the assistance of another human being. I thought, “Wow, how special is that? These folks are on to something!” 

Frankly, the male of our species has been walking this planet in a dominant fashion for far too long, enjoying the benefits of orgasm through some rather twisted ways at times. I was totally into women loving and enjoying the power of orgasm and to experience it in an uncomplicated fashion, directly like a man can. Why should women have to go down this long road that society dictates, getting married and having kids, following all the dysfunctional directions from the magazines? They don’t. And Orgasmic Meditation reveals the truth of that.

My first OM I felt relaxed and experienced no pressure—although I felt a little bit self-conscious because I've been so masculine dominant in my life and unaware that I have any physical, feminine side. It wasn’t until I discovered OM that I eventually realized that it was okay to slow down, retire and look at life. Because to do the practice right, you’ve got to slow down and really be present and see what’s going on right there in front of you.

I walked out of that first OM feeling how simple pleasure and connection can be, and how much our society has really distorted and polluted these things. I think, more than anything else, what Orgasmic Meditation has given me (aside from the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of the feminine in an intimate way) is the opportunity to play again. To be light-hearted and just play. To walk around and feel and go to workshops and go to hang out spots where I like to buy my water or get my chocolate and just relax into being like a kid again. It’s all so simple. And I am grateful to have remembered that.