I Got Really Comfortable Being Myself

BY TOM KOURY

I met a woman in a restaurant and asked her how she was spending her evening later. She told me that she was doing a practice called Orgasmic Meditation, and that’s how I learned about the existence of this thing called OM. I said to her after her explanation, “Can I have your phone number?” 

Over the next year, I checked the whole thing out. Being a musician, it sounded sort of like playing an instrument. There was a sense of meditation and focus and attention to it that really resonated with me. Finally, after a year, I had my first OM. I’d heard so much about it by that point. When I sat down to stroke for the very first time, I felt an electric jolt at the point where my finger met the clitoris. It was so exciting. I’d heard that could happen, but I didn’t expect it on my first time.

Before that electric touch, life was still pretty good. I had employment, had my artwork, had my family, had relationships I liked. I was in pretty good shape. OM just let me sharpen some tools I had forgotten I had. Maybe find some tools I didn’t have before.

OM has taught me to be with myself. I can actually be myself more, meaning I don’t feel obligated to follow any kind of structures or conditions that I’ve previously learned. I used to avoid things because I was nervous or scared, but being within myself, I can try to find ways to approach those things, rather than avoiding them like I would have in the past.

I’m branching out more because of it. When I first started, OMing with people that were older or younger, or black or white, was a challenge. Where I grew up, you had to establish who you were before someone would connect with you with any sort of intimacy. They had to let you know who they were, where they lived, what they did, where they went to school… all these things before you could justify intimacy. It was a barrier for me in my OM practice. But once I got really comfortable being within myself, I got through it really fast. I found myself OMing with all sorts of women.

The asking is still one of my favorite parts of OM. The receiving of requests, too. I’ve gotten a lot better at both. I can ask something, for an OM or whatever—I’ve asked for a lot of things—and then just let it be what it is. Allowing myself to receive whatever the answer is. Or whatever the gift is, whatever the circumstance will bring. I’ve learned that asking is one tiny step you can take to change your life.

Like I said, these are all tools OM has given me. I’m so much more confident and competent within the ebb and flow of life events with these tools, how I handle them and process them.  Just the other day I was able to end a relationship I’d been having with a woman I no longer wanted to be with, and I was able to do it with honesty and clarity and without blaming her. In the past, I probably would have made everything fiery and blown up, started a fight, and then said something like, “See? That’s what I’m saying!” But I stayed aware, conscious, and we ended things amicably.

I feel so grounded in OM. It’s become the single most grounding thing in my life, as much, if not more, than playing music.