The Carpenter's Touch


I’ve been OMing for seven years now.  It has changed my life.

I’ll admit it, I came to OM because I thought it was a sexual practice.  I came with my lover at the time and we were both very interested in exploring new things. She and I started research online for new ideas and practices, and we looked at a bunch of different things – and then we found OM.  I didn’t find it online, actually – I found it through a friend. My partner and I learned how to OM and began our practice right away.  There was so much excitement and newness. We didn’t have any clue what we were doing.  But my partner and I, we loved it from the start and we just figured it out as we went along.  The pleasure came right away, as it were – and then the other benefits started to flow in.

I’ve always loved pleasing my partner in sex, but there was always this underlying worry that she would feel compelled to reciprocate.  Like, “He’s doing this for me and now I should do something for him.” I never wanted a woman to feel obligated to please me, as that tainted whatever it was we were doing.  In OM, I realized for the first time that that didn’t have to be an issue.  When you’re OMing, both partners know that there’s no reciprocating. You are inside of a shared experience, and you’re both in a receptive position because of the feedback loop between you.

OM isn’t sex, even though I thought it was when I first started.  It’s just this simple practice of stroking the upper right quadrant of a woman’s clit for 15 minutes.  That’s it.  And so much enjoyment  for everyone can come from that one action.  OM has showed me that the most important things aren’t complicated at all.  One little stroke can bring so much happiness, and all I need to do is focus on doing that one thing.   It’s taught me that life is so much simpler than I thought. 

What I’ve learned in OM has changed my life in other ways as well. I’ve always had ADHD, and it’s caused many problems in the past.  It cost me jobs and many career opportunities.  I never had much of a filter on what came out of my mouth.  If I didn’t like what a boss was doing, I’d end up telling him sooner rather than later.  Even if it was going to cost me a paycheck, I couldn’t hold back.  I got fired more than once. 

OM has changed all that, in that it has helped me connect to what the people around me really need.  They don’t need me to mouth off, even if I happen to be right about whatever the problem is.   When I’m OMing, I can focus my attention on the clitoris and keep it simple.  I’m a carpenter; carpentry is like OM, I’ve realized.  It works best when you focus on one thing at a time, and enjoy the work you’re doing with your hands. I also work at a big home improvement store, so there is a lot of opportunity to help people. I’m needed all day long.  OM has made it possible for me to connect with what these people need from me, and keep quiet about what they don’t.   And it’s not like I’m biting my tongue either; I’m not stewing or anything.  I’m just able to offer my attention and serve. 

Another thing I wanted to mention: before OM, I focused so much on sex and dating that I didn’t always make time for other kinds of relationships.  Something else I’ve discovered I really enjoy is singing, and a couple of years ago, I joined a men’s choir.  I love singing with these guys, and like everything else since I started OMing, it works best when I just keep it simple.  I’m not thinking about anything else when I’m with the choir; we’re just focused on doing the best we can to bring joy to people in that moment.

I wanted to share one breakthrough I recently had.  I OMed recently with a woman I’d never met before. We were introduced through mutual friends.  We shook hands, introduced ourselves, and then she took off her pants and lay down. We had our OM. When it was over, she put on her pants, we shook hands again, and said goodbye.  To me, this illustrates that you can have intimacy without obligation.   You can have connection without romance. Not that romance is bad – they’re just two different things. Through OM, I can see the intricacies of relating more clearly now.   It’s such an incredible revelation, and I just wish more people could have it.