Finding Nourishment through OMBY LORI
I was living near Seattle, married, with four step kids when the recession hit. We moved to Texas because there were no jobs in our area, and eventually, my husband moved out with my youngest. I was spending a lot of time with my mom going nuts. I wanted to find a community of people who were interested in intimacy and sex, like the positive communities I had known back in Seattle before I got married.
I started to connect with some pagan people in Austin, many of which were Druids. They were very cool, but it just wasn’t the community of people I was seeking. I started to look into doing my own thing, and I found OM. I first had to get past the idea of someone doing something to me and a feeling of obligation to do something in return. I had to really get to that place of understanding that this practice was for both sides of the fence, which ended up making it more enjoyable to me. I didn’t just want the focus on me. This is as much a practice for the person giving as it is for the person receiving, and I liked that.
Being stroked was really nice, and relaxing. I wondered why something like this was not a part of regular foreplay. It was hard to disassociate it from sex at first. It gave me more energy and helped me to think about things differently. It was also great that there was not any judgment around it. You could have this experience with someone who was giving you attention, and you were not judging them or them judging you on if you were hot or attractive, as in dating. It was a nice way to build intimacy without all that stuff, which can be rather painful. It was like getting the nutrients that we need without all the other things we feel like we have to do out of habit.
Sex is always very transactional on both sides. OM took that out of the experience and it became a meditation for both sides. I could just show up and go with the flow. I didn’t have to dress up fancy or do the usual dating dance. It is its own kind of ritual and takes it to a whole different level. Whatever happened, you went with it. Nobody cared if you screwed up one day or the next. Each level of the practice was great.
I found OM amazing because people don’t usually know how to be intimate with each other and to stay in a state of mindfulness. People have lost the ability to make connections. You get to learn how to stay in your body, how to focus on the touch, and how to say what you like or dislike, and make that connection. It really is about being in each other’s presence in a way that shows that you can see the divine in each other. It is very daring to some people, and very groundbreaking in terms of a practice, but it is all about people who want to be intentional with each other, and make real connections, and that makes a huge difference.