I Was Right There With You

BY RACHEL BARRY

As a Tantra teacher living in Sydney, Australia, I’ve found that Orgasmic Meditation is a perfect complement to the sacred practices that are central to my life. In those 15 minutes of stroking in the nest, there’s a certain stillness and expanded awareness that OM helps me tap into almost effortlessly. And you don’t have to be a virtuoso, as the practice is so accessible and rich with benefits, even if you’re new to it.

I’d first heard about OM from one of my girlfriends who was also a Tantra teacher. I noticed that she was looking especially beautiful and radiant, and it was because she was practicing OM. She told me how much the practice was doing for her life and about the way it was opening her up, which got me curious. Yet, it was quite a bit later when I tried it for myself with my partner. 

My first impression was that OM was like a sexual experience, but different. To me, sexual energy feels very big and flowy, but OM is about resting in stillness. During the stroking practice, there is definitely a lot of energy moving through me, but I find a meditative place within it. In that sense, it’s a beautiful teacher.

I was also struck by the way the practice is set up, which is very unique because it has clear and precise steps. Without every little part of the OM routine, I don’t think I would feel as safe to drop into it. But I do, and I appreciate all the guidelines around OM that preserve its container. The men that I’ve practiced with all really stick to that structure.

As I progressed with OM, I found that it fit beautifully into my life. My day can be pretty hectic and full-on, and I’m working with sexual energy all the time. I often have an OM in the middle of my day, and in that half-hour, the practice really grounds and centers me. It brings me back into my body. That resonates with Tantra because in both practices, there is really no goal. There’s no expectation or striving to achieve anything. Just being is enough.

Before OM, I had often struggled to be still. For people who can’t get into meditation easily, the practice can really open the door. In the West, sometimes we try to meditate like people do in the East that live in the mountains—but since we run on so much adrenaline, it’s not feasible that, all of a sudden, we can sit in stillness and silence. It doesn’t work that way. With OM, you have a tool to help get back into your body. And it’s a really fun way to learn.

As a person who has dealt with anxiety, I’ve found a lot of solace in OM. When I was going through a difficult time, OM would help get me out of my mind and back into my body very quickly. You can't not be in your body in OM. I’ve found that to be really potent when I needed it. 

Another benefit that blew me away was how OM enhanced my way of communicating. I was the kind of person who, like many women, didn’t want to offend. The practice involves requesting adjustments to your partner’s stroking, so you learn to ask for what you desire. Maybe you want a faster stroke or a slower one, a lighter touch or a heavier one. With OM, you have permission to ask for adjustments as many times as you like, and your desire will be answered. 

That’s a potent tool for women like me, who are taught from a young age that it’s not always okay to communicate what we like. OM helps us find our voice and speak our desires. For reasons like that, I recommend that a lot of my Tantra clients learn to OM as well. It's very beneficial for couples in particular, because they get a chance to practice speaking their truth to each other, which can only deepen their relationship.

As a sacred practice, Tantra can help you drop into a trance state, and something similar can happen with OM. In some sessions, I enter an altered state of awareness and can have quite trippy psychedelic experiences. Since I love psychedelics in general, I may be more prone to having visualizations and other vivid sensations while OMing. It doesn’t happen every time, but I enjoy it when it does.

At the end of an OM, during the sharing or “frames” portion, I love hearing about what the experience was like for my stroker, too. Often, I’m in my own world during the stroking and unaware of their journey or what they’re going through. Sometimes we find moments of connection—say, an electric current that we both felt at the same time. We’ll say, “I was right there with you.” 

That’s when you realize that, even though it’s a meditation, OM is about shared experience and connection, too. And it’s pretty magical.