OM Should Be as Popular as YogaBY CARTER RAJ
I was raised in India and moved into the US at the age of 31. My work life was extremely hectic and very stressful, with tremendous competition and the constant need to navigate corporate politics. Fortunately, I am a practicing Buddhist and regularly chant and meditate with a group. So that really helped me overcome some of my challenges.
My wife and I lived in Minnesota, and then I moved to California and had to be away from her for some time. Our sexual relationship had become rather stale, and I wanted to explore my sexuality and understand more about how we could both enjoy sex more. Actually, one of my life goals—along with financial independence and having more free time—was to accomplish more sexual freedom. So, during my time in California, I connected with a lot of different types of people and went to a few workshops related to conscious touch. Several people I met at workshops were familiar with Orgasmic Meditation and recommended it. So, I Googled it and liked what I saw. I thought the practice was very cool and that the people participating were very bold. I really admired and respected the people doing it. So, I went to an OM workshop.
I didn't have any judgments about the practice. But I was very curious. I like the philosophy of OM, and agree that people shouldn't be as constrained by societal thinking about sex and monogamy as we are. The fact that OM seemed to attract people who were regular normal people from all walks of life, who are similarly-minded made me feel very comfortable.
My first time OM was in Munich, Germany. Beforehand, I was apprehensive that I might be judged a little bit for being so eager, like a boy having his first sexual experience, so to speak. But fortunately, that wasn't the case. Everybody I talked to was very supportive and non-judgmental with a lot of empathy. It seemed generally understood that supporting other people in their emotions and in their vulnerability was all part of the practice. As far as the OM itself, I found it very clinical. I was also excited that there was obviously much more to the experience than both me and my partner simply feeling pleasure. I was fascinated that I could be stroking a half-naked woman’s genitals—something that generally would be extremely arousing for a man—and not experience even the slightest bit of arousal. I didn’t feel anything in my body really.
Being so driven in work and technically inclined, at first, as I was learning, I tried to be more technical than is required. I was bothered that I couldn’t always find the “right spot.” But eventually I realized that there isn’t a right spot per se, and I stopped trying so hard. I also felt constrained by the limited scope of the container. At first, I felt that I would be able to connect better with my partner and have a more heightened experience if I was allowed to be more fluid when it comes to touching various other parts of the body, like the feet and the legs. But eventually I began to relax and realized that maybe it wasn’t about me so much, and accept that it's just an experience, a natural thing that I shouldn't make such a big deal about. Soon, that more relaxed attitude spread to include sexuality in general. It's just an experience to be enjoyed. And that's pretty much it.
Since starting Orgasmic Meditation, I have become much more confident in my own prowess (if I can use the word) and am very happy to be able to help a woman connect to her sexuality and help her feel more excited. It’s really boosted my confidence to know what I'm doing! Interestingly, I've also become a lot more relaxed at work. When things start getting more political and start stressing me out, I’m able to say, “Okay, hang on, if it's not working for me, I am not going to do it.” I don’t know if I can relate it to totally to OM, but I'm self-employed now and really enjoying it.
Another thing I can do now is, if I see a friend and she is struggling or dealing with fear issues, I can say, “Look, we can OM and this is exactly what it will be, and that's it.” The container aspect in Orgasmic Meditation is quite important and very powerful. Hopefully, experiencing something like that can make her feel safe or safer and reduce the gravity of her situation.
Frankly, I love just the idea of Orgasmic Meditation being available, just like yoga, with an OM center in all its power and glory in every nook and cranny of the world. I think the practice is that healthy and that helpful. I would love for the practice to gain more prevalence.