A Nutrient I had Been Missing for Years

BY KYLE

I found Orgasmic Meditation about a year and a half ago, just after moving to Los Angeles. I moved to LA because I was ready for a life change. I wanted something different. I wanted to be more present. More connectable. After about six months of living here, however, I felt completely isolated. 

In a way, this was typical for me. I’d spent so much of my life alone. I wanted to change that, but I didn’t know what to do. At a certain point, I felt so challenged by my loneliness that I was about to leave the city. That was when I found myself at an OM event. 

I was starving for connection and had been starving for it my whole life. But the people I met at that first event connected with me in a way that felt so nourishing. It felt like I was filling up on a nutrient that I had been missing for years, maybe forever. There was this quality of aliveness that I saw in everyone I met who had done this practice. I saw OM as the entry point for this quality of connection. So, I learned the practice.

About two weeks later, during my tenth OM, something happened. The part of me that felt starved for connection opened up and was nourished. I thought, ‘This is it. This is what I’ve been looking for.’ After the OM, my partner said, “Oh, so that’s what this is all about!” She felt it, too. Even though I’d done so much personal development work, the space inside that needed filling was still there. 

The OM practice has helped me begin to fill that space inside. I’ve had about four hundred OMs now, and I’ve learned that it is definitely a process. Sometimes I feel inspired, and other times I feel challenged. But, because OM cultivates such a high quality of connection, I feel more nourished than ever before in my life. 

I’d always believed that deep, intimate connection was only available in primary relationships. But OM showed me how much deep connection and care I can have with anyone, anytime, if I just put enough quality attention on them. And it helped me develop that kind of attention.   

OM has helped me recognize that deep connection is a natural human need, rather than a perk reserved only for people in committed relationships. I realized that the depression I had been feeling was tied to my loneliness and boredom and that the connection I’ve experienced through OM is the best cure for that. It's not that I don't get depressed anymore. It's that I have a solution now. It's impossible for me to feel lonely and bored when I am practicing OM. It's way too connected to feel lonely. And it requires way too much attention to be bored. There's such a direct feedback loop that connection and attention are inherent. 

There is even a backup system. If you do lose connection, adjustments from the strokee provide immediate feedback that brings attention back to the present. These adjustments have helped me develop my attention. 

Now, I have more intimacy and connection in my life than I ever thought was possible. I’ve found what I was seeking when I moved to L.A. I feel like I can have a deep, intimate conversation with anyone, whether we’re in a committed relationship or we just met. My capacity for intimacy feels less conditional than it did before. I’ve started to build my whole life around connection. And I’m so excited to see how it unfolds.